What does it mean to be a man, a father, or a husband in our modern day society? I’ve heard things about supporting or taking down the so called “Patriarchal Order”. I never knew there was a group of men as one of the aforementioned that saw themselves as men that set the supreme example for every other man in the United States. To me this sounds somewhat ill-informed begetting conventional wisdom to say the least.
It sounds to me that most of the rhetoric comes from the political Left, women that have been wronged, an extreme Feminist, or even men that have an agenda to get some sort of gain. Women are not misunderstood simply because they are women. They are more complex and beautiful than the conventional wisdom holders would say and they should be understood. However, this is not my main point.
I’ve seen many men from various backgrounds and different walks of life do things that have either given me inspiration, good example, or great disappointment. I guess though, I am not one to talk because even my children do not live with me and I have not been able to be there for them as a father. But I know the many things I would do if I had the opportunity and this makes me all the more understand and empathize with other men. I’m not saying that whatever I’ve done in the past that is some sort of punishment for me, rather the end result and a glimpse of what we’ve become as a society.
Some aspects of our society and the way we do things, I believe, need to be categorized for better understanding. Other aspects need to be kept in the abstract and left the way they are. To me, where we are at, the role of father, husband, and a man needs to have an alternate category to describe what men really are and some of the things they should aspire to be. I call this the Principled Patriarch.
What do you think people see when they see a man running around on the streets beating other people up for no reason? What do you think they see when a man leaves his girlfriend only for the fact that he just found out she became pregnant? What do you think people see when they see a man beat up his wife, ultimately because he doesn’t have the characteristics or principles to interact with her properly? What do you think people see when an man of the law uses his mantle for trivial reasons trying to arrest instead of test, understand, help, and empathize? What do you think people see when a man does not defend his wife, girlfriend, or children from various threats in society? These questions and examples aren’t meant to be all inclusive but examples.
However, as a Principled Patriarch men are the exact opposite. His principles are at the forefront and pinnacle of his decisions. What do you think people see when a man runs to the street to save an innocent person from being robbed or hit by a vehicle? What do you think people see when they see a man that chooses to take his responsibility of helping to procreate life seriously deciding to marry or stay with his girlfriend? What do you think people see when they see a man being patient enough to partake in interpersonal communication with his wife when he does not understand her? What do you think people see when they see a man of the law being patient enough to understand the situation of a person in need or has made an honest mistake empathizing with them and helping them to the best of his ability? What do you think people see when they see a man defending his wife, girlfriend, or children from unjustified or unwarranted attacks?
For some reason the men in the preceding paragraph have been demonized and it has become difficult for them to purport or enact their principles in some situations. Some people look for opportunities to play on the kindness of a man when he is being chivalrous, principled, or simply helping to better a situation only to attack him with accusations or get him in trouble by playing the victim. This is not right indeed.
A Principled Patriarch has various degrees of self-control and as I stated previously puts his principles at the forefront of his decisions. He knows from experience how and where to apply his principles in any measure of degrees within the specifics of the situation. However, I am not saying he is perfect. There will be some or many Principled Patriarchs that have made a lot of mistakes big or small. When they have made the decision to be so, sometimes the journey is long and arduous, difficult to say the least. Continuing to berate and belittle this type of man is only of worth in adding filth to the sustenance of an adversaries pithy agenda.
Principled Patriarchs come from various walks of life, they don’t have just one skin color, race, faith, or background and they are all men. They provide the example for other men that have lost their way, that need teaching, guidance, purpose, and direction. They know how to treat their wife, girlfriend, sister(s), and daughter(s) with respect setting the example for other men. They know how to walk beside them instead of in front of or behind them, thus creating a firm foundation of teamwork, love, admiration, mutual respect, and collaboration.
I believe these types of men should be spoken of as examples in our society for what they do and their merits however big or small they may be. This is because men have been made to look like fools, goofballs, and idiots in our various media outlets. Basically there has been a slow societal shift, in the wrong direction, because of the progressive and increasing noise created by adverse groups in our society. They have been yelling louder and persistently throughout the years. It is not enough to continue and simply be humble and quiet when we see or hear adversity such as this hoping it will go away. Sometimes what we think of as being the better person isn’t really, that’s called laying down.
There are a lot of people that are visual and audible learners and they have, increasingly, been getting their education from the mass media. They have been getting the wrong examples of what a man should be from the wrong areas. We do not have to yell to be loud. The weight and impact of a positive example and deed has enormous merit. If seen consistently and continuously that will send a clear message that this is better than the converse. However, the candid should also have a say and conversation(s) as to the various ways in which a Principled Patriarch can show his example and merit. As Abraham Lincoln stated “Those who look for the bad in people will surely find it.” Sometimes looking too much has the potential to make a person delirious and they find their inanimate and un-solidified dream of an accusation instead of the summation of the man’s character.
The Principled Patriarch’s goal is not control or compulsion over others rather love, guidance, teaching, understanding, and the use of perspectives in his spectrum of experiences. Even though in some avocations certain measures of control are required. Men, if we are not Principled Patriarchs let us endeavor and ultimately choose to be so continuously working and improving upon our minds and bodies. If we have already chosen to be so let us continue our great work and examples.