I often wonder sometimes how some of my interactions with women end up the way they do. Why the end result usually is a situation where I have figured out what kind of games she was playing, her being perplexed, dissatisfied either way, and me sort of “telling her off” then walking away. This kind of situation is undesirable.
I do not know exactly how women in other countries are, but I do know about the women in the United States. I’m not necessarily categorizing every woman in the United States into one group. Rather, I am trying to explain and paint a picture or situation of how women sort of get themselves into trouble with men. Or in other words, they shoot themselves in the foot.
Women want equality, they want equal wages, they want to be treated fairly, they don’t want to be treated as objects, they don’t want to be used, they want opportunity, they want to be appreciated, they want to be loved and to be able to love however they do, they want adventure and to be a part of a mans adventure, they want to have fun, and they want to be understood in situations where they themselves create the ambiguity. You might be irritated at that last one but from my experience, knowledge, and perspective that is true.
That is what I’m talking about, the ambiguity women they themselves create when they want something or to do something. This can be either something good or bad. However, men do not like the type of ambiguity women create when they want something and they especially don’t like it when they find out the intent is something bad and that they’ve been used.
Not all women do this, but some women think that to get something or obtain a goal they have to be subversive and hide their real intent or the men they’re dealing with just will not let them do what they set out to do. Part of the reason for women doing this is men themselves. Some men were brought up to limit a woman’s ability to achieve her goals and he might have been taught that she is inferior somehow. I believe that when a woman encounters a man like this she begins her subversive run, especially if the man is in the way of her goals. She might know that even if other men are not like the man she is dealing with, she still has to play nice to a degree or the other men might empathize with the man that is a misogynist.
Not all men and women are taught how to be articulate, analytical, without pretense, and to approach a situation with a member of the opposite sex; treating them as an individual based on their character. This makes interpersonal communication between the sexes more complex and difficult in general.
Men see things as more either this way or that way. While an encounter(s) or situations are happening and a woman is ambiguous he tries to understand what her intent is so he can move forward, especially if it has to deal with a relationship. If the situation or encounter is work related he goes through the same analytical process but has to be unbiased and use ethics. With dating, men should be couth and respectful. However, she should be as well. Not to be rigid but this also depends on the dynamics between the two members of the opposite sex. I realize that a lot of things have changed since the 40’s and 50’s. This is an example.
Women give visual cues and use body language, whether she knows it or not, to let a man know she is interested. If he notices and understands then he could POSSIBLY move forward with her intent. However, some women were brought up to use their bodies and sexuality to use men. This means that a woman could be using body language only to make a man think he is “in” when she is only setting a trap for him so-to-speak. Throughout the years these types of situations and encounters might have been more straight forward and easy to understand for men and has turned from a definitely to a POSSIBLE situation where a man can move forward.
Men that have encountered more situations where a woman has set a trap for him with the ultimate intent on using him to obtain a goal are more likely to NOT trust women. This is because in today’s world men can get in a lot of trouble for NOT being too cautious, saying or doing the wrong thing in the slightest, and for trusting the dynamics and interpersonal communication cues with a woman too much.
On the other hand. Women that are not similar to women in the preceding paragraph might see a man that is worthwhile, has really good attributes, and qualities then when she thinks about or tries to approach him he, in various ways, goes the opposite direction. He goes in the opposite direction because of his previous experiences with women. This might be the case because when a man sees a woman he does not know, she might be pretty, but he doesn’t know if she is similar to adverse women he has dealt with before. To him its not worth the trouble or heartache. Because of the actions of previous women dissimilar to her she becomes disappointed.
Also, in a professional environment some women in the workplace might be more apt to give subtle sexual cues to men in order to “tip-the-scales” for a man to allow her to do something. Other men might see this, be aware of this, and have experience with that sort of dynamic. Then when a woman that is more professional approaches men in the workplace they know they have to be careful and they might be less apt to allow her to achieve her goal(s) while the other one gets away with it. I’m sure this is very frustrating for members of both sex’s.
In some situations a woman might be helpful, somewhat playful, inviting, flirtatious, communicative, and trusting but not too much. Only she knows how much trust she is giving to the man she is interacting with. She might be hospitable or jovial in that situation, for that day, and moment only to get information or get in favor with the man only to achieve a goal towards other goals. To her, if she sees he trusts her and has gained his favor, it has just become a game. The next encounter, if the man has had time to think about the previous encounter and realizes she has bad intent, he might still trust her but less. She might sense this within their interaction and be less hospitable, jovial, and downright mean. She might think that it is unfair that the man is “on to her” game and antics. Instead of continuing to be a lady or professional, depending on the environment, she makes things worse by being mean to him. She might think “I had him, he believed me, I’m pretty, and why wouldn’t he want to be a part of my little game?”. This is really twisted thinking. However, after having many interactions similar to this, myself I cannot deduce anything else.
It seems to me that men and women have to talk to each other a certain way or else the “dummies” will get left out and they will not be “in the know”. Trends and communication have changed throughout the years, but having to talk a certain way to a member of the opposite sex and play a game just to be with the woman or man of your dreams, to me, only adds to the frustration and weight of daily tasks that we have to do anyway. Take those away and things will become much more simple, men and women will not be bound by a misstep of communication in the process of a game and modern courtship, and if we learn to separate everything else from relationships of the heart we will truly become free in this area.
It is no wonder that men and women have less trust in each other now days than they did thirty or forty years ago. Not only do we have electronic and media moment-by-moment information and communication, but we have also compounded the complexity and exhilaration of courtship by including tainted communication and games into them. Ultimately, if we say that family, our significant other, or potential significant other are the most important and nearest to our hearts; why do we continue to do these things causing so much heartache and divides?
I have learned that the primary tool and weapon of Radical or Extreme Feminists is Romanticism. This is the philosophy of trepidation, fear, anxiety, and a subversive camouflage of intent from women. This was the era where women increased the use of their bodies and sexuality as tools to achieve their goals. Its interesting to note that the last time I went to a Barnes and Noble, the Romance book section was right across the aisle from the philosophical section. I do not know if this was a simple choice or on purpose but I thought it was interesting.
There is a difference between the Radical/Extreme Feminist, the Traditional Feminist, and non-Feminist. Men and women must learn how to recognize and defend themselves against the Radical/Extreme Feminists. They are a detriment to our society and it is possible that they are the group that is responsible for the stressful trends that women are expected to follow and adhere to. It is possible that they are also responsible and tip the scales in situations where families break up, relationships go sour, and why men and women become too afraid to follow their hearts in, what could be, finding the love of their life. This is because the Radical/Extreme Feminists are only concerned with power and authority; possibly Feminist Supremacy and misandry.
However, with as must gusto and subversiveness as the Radical/Extreme Feminists go about their agendas and attacks on the “heart of the family”, the mother, wife, and girlfriend it is a wonder. To me this is very troublesome to hear silence from every American that does not agree with their agenda and are tired of their nonsense, fear pushing, and trepidation tactics. Why are we not louder than them, why are we not more enthusiastic, why have we not been more continuously vocal about placing an importance on personal relationships of the heart and family, and why do we continue to let them do what they do? I know what some of their tactics have done in my personal life and I would not allow someone else I cared about to be trodden down by any one of them. Why do we let this continue with ourselves and each other? This must change and we must be and do with our actions equally with our voices.